Author Archives: Atul Kailash

Break From Work

The simple “break” from work – the kind that lasts an hour, or the kind that lasts a week or longer – is part and parcel of daily working life. It is something that has been built into the whole working process, a part of the schedule. The “break” is there for the sake of work. It is supposed to provide “new strength” for “new work,” as the word “refreshment” indicates: one is refreshed for work through being refreshed from work.” ~ Justin Pieper

Each day as you head to work, ask yourself, “Am I having fun or learning today at work?” This simple question can help you stay motivated – as an employee, as a leader, while surrounding yourself with a comfortable aura – which off course you bring to work. When schedules are demanding, deadlines are looming, a sense of humor can help get the job done. But you could use a few tricks for keeping your focus.

Break From Work
Find time for creativity outside of the office. It could be a cultivating a hobby, pursuing an interest, planting in your garden, painting, reading for enjoyment (not work!), or just trying anything new. Taking breaks is the key. Sure, a vacation will recharge your batteries, but such luxuries may not by easily had or may be few and far between. The idea therefore is to accept that it will be fine to sometimes just take your mind off work and do nothing. When there’s something you truly enjoy, don’t feel guilty—just do it!

It’s important to realize that you cannot be on top of things all the time. There are going to be bad hair days too! At these times, try to ease off on yourself. Listen to others instead. Walk the halls, and talk to team members about mundane things – What they’re working on, How things are outside work, What the children have been up to. These loose thoughts may not throw up any new ideas but they will surely energize the mind. Listening is important, because we all run out of answers. Even after years of experience – an old dog can learn new tricks. Also, try complimenting someone. Praise gets returned in unknown and mysterious ways. When you take time to thank people for a good job or a great idea, it will immediately motivate you.

Lastly, and most importantly, motivation flags because you have lost sight of the goal. It is easy to fill our lives with trivial things while letting the end goal escape us. You may never find that perfect balance, but you should sort all of the major life issues into the correct pigeon holes. This will help you understand them better and therefore prepare suitable plans for action. You can call it a ‘life map’. Visually draw the paths you will take to reach your final goal. Understanding yourself is the best way to motivate.

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Friendship With Ourself

Our friendship with others can get a firm base only when our friendship with ourselves has been well established. A person who is not one’s own friend cannot befriend any other. Friendship is a complete feeling and not a fragment or a one-sided relationship.” – Acharya Roopchandra

Our Friendship

An oft-repeated cliche. Because the greatest struggle in life is the struggle to – accept all the faults, embrace all the imperfections, and over and above it all – love ourselves. To be really honest about who we are, how we feel and what we need. We have to learn to be our own best friends. Because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. We love the idea of others loving us, but we forget to love ourselves.

Be your own friend –

  • Focus less on winning the approval of others. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing.  And you don’t have to get permission to do it differently either.
  • Distance yourself from those who bring you down. Don’t worry too much about people who don’t worry about you. Know your worth!  And believe it. Your friends in life should motivate, inspire and respect you. Your circle should be well-rounded and supportive.
  • Embrace the mistakes you haven’t even made yet. This will ensure long term success. Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all.
  • Do something every day that makes you happy. Life is too short. Invest in the activities you deeply care about. A good life is should include – caring for yourself – doing things you care about. There’s nothing selfish about self-care. You have to experience life on your terms before you can be life-giving to others.
  • Believe in your abilities. Nothing is impossible!  The key is – identify what you want, claim it as part of who you are, and believe that you are worthy to have it
  • Go out of your way to be kind to others. Everything comes a full circle. People who love themselves come across as caring, generous and kind to others too; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness. And be thankful for rude, difficult people too – they serve as great reminders of how not to be.
So put these things on your TO-DO list today.
People will come and go. Events will come and go. Day and night will come and go. But a true love for yourself will always remain with you, if you nurture it.
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Relationship With Yourself

Relationship With Yourself

One of the most significant areas of importance in every human being’s life is relationships. Anyone with good, close and harmonious relationships with loved ones, friends, colleagues, etc., is normally considered very fortunate. But of all relationships, the first and most basic is the one which we have with ourself. Today, check how good, close or deep is your relationship with yourself ? How well do you know yourself ? Are you your own friend ? Think over the last week or fortnight, how many of your reactions were unexpected or uncontrolled or basically not the right ones. How many reactions left you confused, sad, unenthusiastic, depressed, negative or uncomfortable ? If there have been such situations, it is a sure indication that there are still things deep within you that you do not know well enough. As in any worldly relationship, without knowing a particular person to the core one can never have a deep relationship with that person. Similarly, we cannot have a close relationship with our own self without knowing oneself well. While we spend much time ‘making up’ our faces to ensure our appearance is beautiful for others, We forget to make up our minds.

When we begin to communicate with ourselves, trust is re-born. Trust was broken when our conscience said do ‘A’ but we did ‘B.’ When we start following the voice of our conscience we experience a new beginning and the promise of new beauty. Each one of us must check before we rush into action: What is my conscience telling me? When you do and follow its voice the beautiful things promised start to manifest themselves in our lives. When we act with integrity and honesty and follow the voice of our conscience then there will be no need to worry or fear. We know when one door closes another one will open – there is no longer any need to worry about where we going or how we will get there. When we put the “lights” on darkness goes out – we don’t need to chase it away.

People need to know that they have all the tools within themselves. Self-awareness, which means awareness of their body, awareness of their mental space, awareness of their relationships – not only with each other, but with life and the ecosystem.” -Deepak Chopra 

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Staying Young

“So curiosity, I think, is a really important aspect of staying young or youthful.” – Goldie Hawn

We aspire much, yet achieve little. Why? Our mind is rational and illogical, progressive and regressive, optimistic and pessimistic. Therefore and by nature it is incapable of a unified response. We need to deal with negativity and infuse positivity.

The first negative force is the tendency to create illusions and chase them. Understand the difference between goals and illusions. Goals are anchored in reality, while illusions derive from ego and wishful fantasies. Set up realistic goals, thereby multiplying the likelihood of their achievement. Aspire to be physically fit, emotionally vivacious, forever learning and evolving with age.

A second negative force is the pre-disposition to function in a conditioned manner. By the time we reach young adulthood, certain habits and personality traits have manifested themselves and they stick with us for the rest of our lives. Such habits restrict the range of what we can do and the variety of ways in which we can do them. This creates a comfort zone and defining it is our greatest blunder. It stops the natural ability of rejuvenation and healing which can be brought about by introducing new physical and mental activity. Your youth can be re-inforced by continuous interest in listening to, trying and practising anything different or new.

The third negative force is the tendency to think pessimistically. Life will throw painful experiences. You can decide to respond actively to take up the challenge. Your every thought and emotion sends a message to your immune system and this message can enhance or impair it. Positive emotions will boost the system whereas negativity will harm it. Happy and optimistic people live younger, longer.

Changing your mental attitude is the strongest step to staying young.

Curiosity Goldie Hawn

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Kindness, With No Thought Of Reward

We usually know what the kind thing to do is – and kindness when it is done to us, and register its absence when it is not. We are never as kind as we want to be, but nothing outrages us more than people being unkind to us. There is nothing we feel more consistently deprived of than kindness; the unkindness of others has become our contemporary complaint. Kindness consistently pre-occupies us, and yet most of us are unable to live a life guided by it.

Kindness Og Mandino

Kindness is a good habit and it has a reverberating effect that echoes and creates waves for a good life. Helping others brings a deep satisfaction to both – the receiver of the help, and the one who provides the help. By recognizing another’s need for help and acting on it in a compassionate manner, makes the recipient feel valued. It also brings a feeling of pride for the giver and they feel better about themselves. Over time people who do good deeds develop a happy and joyful personality that attracts those they associate with. Like a magnet, kindness begets kindness. Kindness makes people want to be around us. One of the most common responses to kindness is gratitude – and that means people appreciating what we’ve done for them and seeking out our company.

An interesting facet of practising kindness is that this activity improves our attentivity. In order to be kind, we have to pay attention to what is happening around us. As we begin to notice more things while we help others, we get a glimpse of the ways others look at the same things. This broadens our perspective and helps to keep things in context.
  • Do one kind thing for yourself each day which doesn’t involve buying something. Congratulate yourself on your achievements, or have a long, relaxing soak in the bath!
  • Do one kind thing for someone else each day. Open the door, give a genuine compliment, or donate some money. Do something, anything, as long as it helps somebody else.
  • Resist any urges to be unkind. Stop and reflect: What are you hoping to achieve from this? And if someone is unkind to you, don’t take it personally.

Beginning today, treat everyone you meet as if they were going to be dead by midnight. Extend to them all the care, kindness and understanding you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” – Og Mandino

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Lessons On Borrowing

5 important lessons for an individual borrower from the Greek crisis

5 Lessons Greek Crisis

Don't borrow what you can't repay:
The simple thumb rule to follow while taking any loan is: will the cumulative EMI of all your loans exceed 50% of your take-home salary? "If the answer is yes, you would be better off not borrowing. Being over-leveraged could result in just temporary ownership of objects of your desire; worse, you may have to part with your more valuable possessions too. When you are deep into loans, you may lose the items you really value due to the loans you took for items that could have been avoided.

Watch out for potential debt traps:
The future of Greece hinges on existing lenders continuing credit support. Many individuals too tend to borrow loans or use credit cards to repay existing loans. Being unsecured debt, personal loans charge a higher interest rate, which means that total dues will not shrink in a hurry. Worse, if you choose to pay just the minimum amount due on your credit card every month, you will avoid the defaulter tag, but you will get entangled further in the debt trap. In such cases, it's best to borrow against assets and clear the loans.

Don't be too optimistic:
Although, hefty pay packages are the norm in several sectors today, even in the mid and junior levels, overconfidence can be your Achilles' heel, jeopardising your financial plans. It's best not borrow on the basis of your estimation of future income and career prospects. Many take loans in anticipation of an increment or a job switch that will yield better salary. They could land in trouble if things do not go as per plan.

Keep tabs on credit history:
Credit scores are part of the loan eligibility evaluation process. Issued by several rating agencies, credit reports constitute a record of your loans and repayment track record. You need to monitor your credit profile by obtaining the reports from these companies, or at least before applying for a loan.

Live within your means:
Nobody has ever landed in trouble for being conservative when it comes to spending. Impulse purchases offer momentary pleasure, but a cause a lot of pain when the credit card bill lands. If the latest gadget means using your credit card without adequate money in your account to pay the bill, resist the temptation—you will thank yourself later.

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Be In Control of Yourself, Be Realistic

Our moods are caused by things around us like the behaviour – of other people, by situations – mostly not under our control, by our expectations – at times unrealistic, and also by external influences – the media and other biased opinions. The fast pace of life often means we have no time to appreciate the beauty among us.  In all this running around, we forget to stop and look around. To see and appreciate all that is beautiful, nice, right and beneficial happening around us.

Be Realistic
Can we not accept that we cannot control anyone or anything ? That the only thing under our control is ourselves. That the correct thing to do is to be realistic. That the ancient indian principles of spirituality will always hold good.

Accept the fact that
– everything that is, will happen, whatever we do to alter or change it.
– every person we meet is for a specific purpose and reason, there is no accident or chance.
– events will occur only when the time is right, neither earlier nor later.
– whatever has happened is past, let it go and move on.

Since there are events we cannot change, look for the benefit they have for us. When we get involved with fears about the future, we miss the chances that the present offers us.

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.” ~Marilu Henner

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Real Learning

If we’re going to solve the problem of indoctrination in our school system, we have to learn to begin asking questions instead of giving answers. Real learning is achieved through the investigative process. Children have to be encouraged to search for the answers themselves. It is up to the teachers to provide the tools and resources necessary for the children to conduct these inquiries and make meaningful discoveries. One well-formed question will do more to inspire than any number of answers. In every facet of our educational pursuits, it becomes crucial to begin an open dialogue with our students, to encourage healthy debate and to have them form their own conclusions.

The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.” – Carl Rogers

Instead of being an army style march to marks, we need to feel the joy of learning. A game with ideas and questions being thrown at each other like a ball in a park. The teacher’s role becomes a trigger. We end up doing more – with challenges and games and resources freely shared and used more intensely. The changed attitude is about deeper engagement with the content. Focus on the basics, even in higher classes. Do not assume that students know what they are should. Embed reinforcements of prior learning in every piece of work that is set for students. If they get the basics of reading, writing and arithmetic right, they are well placed to branch off on their own in later years. Instill confidence and competence in skills of speaking, debating, creating a structured argument and applying their learning to life.Educated
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The Bigger The Mistake, The Bigger The Opportunity

The Bigger The Mistake

We waste a lot of time and energy – first in trying not to make mistakes, then in trying to hide the mistakes we make, and finally in feeling guilty about these mistakes, either beating ourselves up or allowing someone else to do so. All this energy is completely wasted. One cannot live this life without making mistakes. It’s simply not possible. One also cannot hide mistakes indefinitely. It’s possible to get away once in a while, but sooner or later, one would be caught. Feeling guilty about a mistake does absolutely nothing but prevent one from actually fixing anything. Continually wallowing in such guilt paralyzes any actions to move forward. A person in such a condition is not able to be productive or solve problems.

We are all human. We all make mistakes. Some of us make lots of mistakes. Some of us make the same mistakes over and over and over. Some of our mistakes can have long-lasting, possibly permanent, consequences. Some of the consequences of our mistakes affect many people, not just ourselves. We need to simply accept those as the facts. Accept that you will make mistakes. That’s just the way it is.

When you see that you have made a mistake, just admit it. Admit it to yourself and to as many other people as were involved. Apologize to anyone you may have hurt, including yourself. Forgive yourself both for having made the mistake and for the consequences it brought you. Make a plan to try not to repeat that mistake in the future. Pause and reflect on what you learned through the experience. Open your mind to the possibility that your mistake may actually have benefited you in unexpected ways. Accept that you may end up getting opportunities that you never had.

Do not wallow in your mistakes. Do not grovel and prostrate yourself in hopes of forgiveness. We all make mistakes. Apologize and move forward. Do not replay the event in your head. Do not continue to beat yourself up. Do not profusely explain, defend yourself, make excuses or blame. After you apologize, do no more explaining; never explain more than once — ever. When you keep explaining and rehashing you just keep your mistake alive. Learn your lesson and adjust your behavior and move forward. Let people see you overcoming your mistakes with integrity. Most mistakes that seem huge in the heat of the moment are quickly forgotten. We often even further bond with others through surviving our mistakes together. Big mistakes are an outstanding opportunity to showcase your ability to recover and have grace under pressure. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the opportunity. This is how you turn it all around.” ~ Bryant McGill

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Clear Your Negative Energy

We know that like attracts like. Ergo: Positive people are drawn to positive energy; negative people will be drawn to negative energy.

We tend to perceive negative energy as something other people have. Sure, sometimes we feel negative – as in, “go away and leave me alone!” but did you know that negativity can be so ingrained in you that it goes unnoticed? That’s because negativity sometimes wears a disguise called ‘reality’. It’s easy to rationalize that you’re ‘just being realistic’ in not daring to act on a dream – and believe it! You may assume that positive people are not being realistic – that they’re being naive, that they are in denial with their heads stuck in the sand, that they put on fake smiles in the face of difficulty and so forth.  But are they really happy idiots or is there something to their positivity?

Consider this: since when does ‘being realistic’ necessarily mean that things will go wrong and that you have to accept that as the truth?

That doesn’t mean that being realistic is automatically negative. When you view the world from a ‘realistic’ standpoint, you can’t help but be negative IF your version of reality is negative.

If your version of reality is negative, you are conditioned to believe that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong and whatever can go right, will probably go wrong too. Your unconsciously held beliefs make you into a negative person without your being aware of it! So – if this negativity is so ingrained in you that you don’t notice it, how do you determine whether you’re stuck in a cloud of negative energy that is attracting the wrong people, wrong situations and wrong feelings? And how can you be sure you’re not perpetuating that negativity?

Here’s a quick quiz to gauge the level of negative energy within you:

  • Do you complain? All the time or just sometimes?
  • Do you often discuss what’s wrong in the world more than what’s right? This includes the ‘terrible’ weather, ‘horrible’ traffic, ‘idiotic’ government, ‘lousy’ economy, ‘stupid’ in-laws, etc.
  • Do you criticize? All the time or just certain people?
  • Are you attracted to drama and disaster (can you unglue yourself from the TV when there’s a news story of a disaster and can you avoid getting involved in the lives of dysfunctional celebrities?)
  • Do you blame? All the time or just certain situations?
  • Do you believe that you have no control over most of your results?
  • Do you feel like a victim? Do you talk about people doing things to you?
  • Are you grateful for what is or will you be grateful when things finally start going right for you?
  • Do you feel like things are happening to you? Or do you feel that they are happening through you?

This last two points are important:

If you’re not grateful except when things go right, you are negative. Gratitude is positive. If you are grateful for what is (including the unpleasant school of life lessons, then you can invite more and more positive energy into your life.

Believing that things happen to you puts you in the role of victim; then it’s easy to be negative because it’s convenient to give up that power. So consider this alternative: who or what is to blame when GOOD things happen to you? Do you acknowledge that you are responsible for the good things – as in, you worked hard, you earned it, etc… but blame external events or other people for your failures? So how come, when good things happen, they are a result of what you do, but when bad things happen, they are not your fault?

Nobody likes to hear that. It takes courage to accept that you create your life experience!

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you are holding on to negative energy to some degree! To clear your negative energy and raise your vibration, you will need to retrain yourself to choose a positive attitude.

Here’s another interesting idea to consider: have you noticed that positive people seem to get what they want out of life, and even if things don’t go their way, they still enjoy their lives… while negative people whine and moan about their misfortunes and even the good things in their lives?
negativity ellen degeneres

To clear negative energy, try this 3 -step process:

1. Take ownership.

When you think everything is someone else’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.” – the Dalai Lama
Your success will depend on your ability to take ownership of your actions. So, don’t just ‘make actions’, but own them and really do the that can be done.

2. Cancel negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts.

Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” – Willie Nelson
This takes practice, dedication and making a decision to see the world through the eyes of “what can go right” instead of “what can go wrong.” You’ll have to catch yourself anytime you are acting out or speaking out your negativity, and immediately change your tune.

3. Bring more light and love into your life.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Visualize the positive instead of getting sucked into negativity; overcome past conditioning; think intuitively from the soul instead from ‘reality’; create a new, desired reality in your imagination and manifest it in the outer world. Nobody wants negative energy to permeate their lives, yet many of us allow it. But we allow it unconsciously, based on past conditioning that suggests an inevitable outcome to certain situations. When you overcome that conditioning and realize that the future is NOT cast in stone but that you have more control over your circumstances than you believe – then you can begin to consciously design your life.
What’s going to happen then? Your positive energy will magnetically attract what you consider to be good and right for you: people, situations, things… and you’ll notice a huge, huge increase in your happiness and inner peace. Why not choose positive energy? Make some changes within, and you’ll quickly see positive changes in your life. Enjoy the good feelings and abundance!
The world is full of a lot of fear and a lot of negativity, and a lot of judgment. I just think people need to start shifting into joy and happiness. As corny as it sounds, we need to make a shift.” – Ellen DeGeneres
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