Posts Tagged With: Control

Desire

To strongly wish for or want something is Desire. According to the Rig Veda, the Universe began, not with light, but with desire, ‘the primal seed’. Desires constantly arise in us, only to be replaced by other desires. Without this continuous stream of desires, there would no longer be any reason to do anything: life would grind to a halt, as it does for people who lose the ability to desire. An acute crisis of desire corresponds to boredom, and a chronic crisis to depression.

We were born from desire. But cannot remember a time when we were without it. So consumed are we to ‘desiring’, that we lose consciousness of our desires. And only realize when they clash with other desires.

If desire is life, why should we desire to control desire? —For the simple reason that we desire to control life, or, at least, our life. Paradoxically, our ancient religions almost always warned us that ‘Desires’ are the cause of conflicts.

In Hinduism, Desire is referred to as the ‘destroyer of knowledge and self-realization’. The Second Noble Truth of Buddhism states that the cause of all suffering is ‘lust’, ‘coveting’ or ‘craving’. Even Christianity, presents that four of the seven deadly sins (envy, gluttony, greed, and lust) directly involve desire. Rituals such as prayer, fasting, and confession all aim at curbing desire.

Suffering can be traced back to desire. Fear and anxiety can be understood in terms of desires about the future. Whereas, anger and sadness relate to desires about the past.

Desire is not only hurtful, but its outcome even more so. The accumulation of material wealth – houses, cars, and other riches rob us of our time and peace. You think that acquiring things will make you feel secure, but the reality is that the more you have the more fear for losing it. This continually drags you further and further away from the peace your soul is yearning for. An excess of desire is called greed. Because greed is insatiable, it prevents us from enjoying what we already have. The greater problem of greed is that it is all-consuming, reducing life to nothing but an endless quest for more. To want something and not get it leaves you feeling frustrated. Learning to be free from desire is learning how to be peaceful. Desire causes peace to disappear.

No sooner is one desire fulfilled, people formulate new desires. The problem is that our desires evolved ‘merely’ to promote our survival and reproduction. They did not evolve to make us happy or satisfied, to ennoble us, or to give our life any meaning beyond them. Today, survival is no longer the most pressing issue. Yet here we still are, chained to our desires like a slave to his master.

“Our desires always disappoint us; for though we meet with something that gives us satisfaction, yet it never thoroughly answers our expectation.” – Elbert Hubbard

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Step Outside Of Your Comfort Zone

The text book definition of “comfort zone” is that psychological state in which things feel familiar. The person is at ease and in control of the environment. It can also be termed as “an anxiety-neutral position.” Simply put, Comfort zones are those plush, cushy places that are nice to be in, but really do not offer you any real support for personal development.

Although, stepping out of a comfort zone raises anxiety and generates a stress response, this also results in an enhanced level of concentration and focus.

Inspirational quotes encourage you to get out and do something strange – something you wouldn’t normally do – as getting out of your routine takes so much work. With a little understanding and a few adjustments, you can break away from your routine and do great things.

Why is it that we tend to get comfortable with the familiar, but when we are introduced to new and interesting things, the glimmer fades so quickly? Pushing too hard might cause a negative result, and reinforce the idea that challenging yourself is a bad idea. It becomes our natural tendency to return to an anxiety neutral, comfortable state.

So, what do you really get when you’re willing to step outside of your comfort zone?

• You will be more productive. Comfort kills productivity. In the absence of deadlines and expectations, we lose the drive and ambition to do more and learn new things.

• You will have an easier time dealing with new and unexpected changes. By taking risks in a controlled fashion and challenging yourself to things you normally would not do, can prepare you for life changes.

• You will find it easier to push your boundaries in the future. Once you start stepping out of your comfort zone, you become accustomed to that state “Productive discomfort”. As you challenge yourself, your comfort zone adjusts so what was difficult and anxiety-inducing becomes easier as you repeat it.

• You will find it easier to brainstorm and harness your creativity. This is a soft benefit, but seeking new experiences, learning new skills, and opening the door to new ideas inspire us in educative ways. A positively uncomfortable experience helps us see problems in a new light.

The benefits you get after stepping outside of your comfort zone can linger. There’s the overall self-improvement you get through the skills you’re learning, the new foods you’re trying, the new country you’re visiting, and the new job you’re interviewing for. There’s also the soft mental benefits you get from broadening your horizons.

Now, a few quick tips –

Do everyday things differently. Take a different route to work. Try a new restaurant without checking the reviews first.

Whether the change you make is large or small, make a change in the way you do things on a day-to-day basis.

Take your time making decisions. Slow down, observe what’s going on, take your time to interpret what you see, and then intervene.

Do it in small steps. It takes a lot of courage to break out of your comfort zone. Identify your fears, and then face them step by step.

The experiences you have may be mind-blowing or regrettable, but that doesn’t matter. The point is that you’re doing it, and you’re pushing yourself past the mental blocks that tell you to do nothing.

Trying new things is difficult. If it were not, breaking out of your comfort zone would be easy and we would do it all the time.

It’s not a good idea to live outside of your comfort zone all the time. You need to come back from time to time to process your experiences. The last thing you want is for the new and interesting to quickly become commonplace and boring.

So, get out of that armchair or couch you are lounging in. Challenge yourself. to try something different. Anything that makes you a better version from what is today. Unlock the power and energy that comes from getting out of your really comfort zone.

“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.” – Brian Tracy
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Be In Control of Yourself, Be Realistic

Our moods are caused by things around us like the behaviour – of other people, by situations – mostly not under our control, by our expectations – at times unrealistic, and also by external influences – the media and other biased opinions. The fast pace of life often means we have no time to appreciate the beauty among us.  In all this running around, we forget to stop and look around. To see and appreciate all that is beautiful, nice, right and beneficial happening around us.

Be Realistic
Can we not accept that we cannot control anyone or anything ? That the only thing under our control is ourselves. That the correct thing to do is to be realistic. That the ancient indian principles of spirituality will always hold good.

Accept the fact that
– everything that is, will happen, whatever we do to alter or change it.
– every person we meet is for a specific purpose and reason, there is no accident or chance.
– events will occur only when the time is right, neither earlier nor later.
– whatever has happened is past, let it go and move on.

Since there are events we cannot change, look for the benefit they have for us. When we get involved with fears about the future, we miss the chances that the present offers us.

Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life.” ~Marilu Henner

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