“Our friendship with others can get a firm base only when our friendship with ourselves has been well established. A person who is not one’s own friend cannot befriend any other. Friendship is a complete feeling and not a fragment or a one-sided relationship.” – Acharya Roopchandra
An oft-repeated cliche. Because the greatest struggle in life is the struggle to – accept all the faults, embrace all the imperfections, and over and above it all – love ourselves. To be really honest about who we are, how we feel and what we need. We have to learn to be our own best friends. Because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. We love the idea of others loving us, but we forget to love ourselves.
Be your own friend –
- Focus less on winning the approval of others. Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. And you don’t have to get permission to do it differently either.
- Distance yourself from those who bring you down. Don’t worry too much about people who don’t worry about you. Know your worth! And believe it. Your friends in life should motivate, inspire and respect you. Your circle should be well-rounded and supportive.
- Embrace the mistakes you haven’t even made yet. This will ensure long term success. Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all.
- Do something every day that makes you happy. Life is too short. Invest in the activities you deeply care about. A good life is should include – caring for yourself – doing things you care about. There’s nothing selfish about self-care. You have to experience life on your terms before you can be life-giving to others.
- Believe in your abilities. Nothing is impossible! The key is – identify what you want, claim it as part of who you are, and believe that you are worthy to have it
Go out of your way to be kind to others. Everything comes a full circle. People who love themselves come across as caring, generous and kind to others too; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness. And be thankful for rude, difficult people too – they serve as great reminders of how not to be.
So put these things on your TO-DO list today.
People will come and go. Events will come and go. Day and night will come and go. But a true love for yourself will always remain with you, if you nurture it.
Categories: Humanistic Halos
Tags: Approval, Befriend, Believe, Focus, Friendship, Happy, Inspire, Kind, Mistakes, Moivate, Ourself, Ourselves, Relationship, Supportive, Worth
One of the most significant areas of importance in every human being’s life is relationships. Anyone with good, close and harmonious relationships with loved ones, friends, colleagues, etc., is normally considered very fortunate. But of all relationships, the first and most basic is the one which we have with ourself. Today, check how good, close or deep is your relationship with yourself ? How well do you know yourself ? Are you your own friend ? Think over the last week or fortnight, how many of your reactions were unexpected or uncontrolled or basically not the right ones. How many reactions left you confused, sad, unenthusiastic, depressed, negative or uncomfortable ? If there have been such situations, it is a sure indication that there are still things deep within you that you do not know well enough. As in any worldly relationship, without knowing a particular person to the core one can never have a deep relationship with that person. Similarly, we cannot have a close relationship with our own self without knowing oneself well. While we spend much time ‘making up’ our faces to ensure our appearance is beautiful for others, We forget to make up our minds.
When we begin to communicate with ourselves, trust is re-born. Trust was broken when our conscience said do ‘A’ but we did ‘B.’ When we start following the voice of our conscience we experience a new beginning and the promise of new beauty. Each one of us must check before we rush into action: What is my conscience telling me? When you do and follow its voice the beautiful things promised start to manifest themselves in our lives. When we act with integrity and honesty and follow the voice of our conscience then there will be no need to worry or fear. We know when one door closes another one will open – there is no longer any need to worry about where we going or how we will get there. When we put the “lights” on darkness goes out – we don’t need to chase it away.
“People need to know that they have all the tools within themselves. Self-awareness, which means awareness of their body, awareness of their mental space, awareness of their relationships – not only with each other, but with life and the ecosystem.” -Deepak Chopra