Posts Tagged With: Happiness

Fear Of Failure

The belief – ‘survival of the fittest,’ has been ingrained into our psyche since the earliest days of civilization. Repeatedly told that the world is competitive and only the ‘top notch’ can survive, we live comparing our successes apropos others. Competitiveness is explained as the possession of a strong desire to be more successful than others or the quality of being as good as or better than others of a comparable nature.

We live in perpetual fear of failure. Of threatened survival. Is it true that being an ‘always winner’ can bring genuine happiness? Can it even guarantee happiness? Is it not more likely that buying into this belief, might actually be ensuring unhappiness?

Ask anyone why they have not accomplished their goals yet, and fear of failure will always crop up as the number one reason to, most of the time. But, this has nothing to do with being born with low self-confidence. It has everything to do with fear of failure being a socially acceptable behaviour. What we really fear is failing to do something right the first time. Is it really reasonable to expect anyone to do ‘right the first time around’? No. People require several attempts and lots of practice to get things right at all. Yet we go on expecting ourselves to ‘do it right’ the first time.

Why are we in this situation? Right from school, we are trained that getting the ‘right’ answer the first time is the only thing that is rewarded, whereas the wrong answer is punished in a variety of ways: low grades, scolding and contempt from teachers and peers. By our late teens, we have been very effectively trained to fear failure. And most certainly not been taught to embrace failure as a key step in learning.

Most of us are still stuck with a big, ugly Fear of Failure staring us in the face whenever we try to break out of our current reality, go after big goals, or think about learning something new. Somewhere along the way, one has to de-learn the lesson to fear failure. Learn to go after what you want regardless of how often you might probably fail. Embrace failure as a part of getting what you want out of life.

The keys here will be –

Re-training your brain to go after new things. Take a class in something you’ve never done before. It doesn’t matter what it is. If you’ve never done it before, you are bound to fail the first few times you try it. This is a great way to relearn how to court failure, and then overcome it on your way to achievement.

Remind yourself that, fear of failure wasn’t always there for you. When you were a toddler, you had absolutely no fear of failure. If you were afraid to fail, you’d never have learned to walk! Somewhere inside who has absolutely zero fear of failure. That inside man wants to try to do everything. Access that brave little person once again, and you can achieve anything.

Choose to cultivate contentment, joy and bliss. Real, lasting happiness is about being who we really are and not something we have to strive for or can buy. Choose happiness now.

“Failure isn’t fatal, but failure to change might be” – John Wooden

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Hope: I think, I can!

‘Hope’ – a feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.

Hope is an optimistic state of mind that is based on an expectation of positive outcomes with respect to events and circumstances in one’s life or the world at large. Amidst the constant changes in life and continually arising confusing, chaotic situations, Hope becomes our life jacket. Hope helps us to keep afloat in the storms that at times cause unexpected changes. Living with Hope keeps us awake. Hope opens us to the opportunities that life offers. We overcome fear and expect the best. We develop the vision that everything will get better and all things will themselves fall in line.

Hope helps us to keep the meaning of our life alive.

Barbara Fredrickson argues that hope comes into its own when crisis looms, opening us to new creative possibilities. That with great need comes an unusually wide range of ideas, as well as such positive emotions as happiness and joy, courage, and empowerment. Hopeful people are “like the little engine that could, [because] they keep telling themselves “I think I can, I think I can”. Such positive thinking bears fruit.

Hope has the ability to help people heal faster and easier. Individuals who maintain hope, especially when battling illness, significantly enhance their chances of recovery. This is important because people with chronic illness believe they have little chance of recovery. If health care providers begin to recognize the importance of hope in the recovery process, then they could learn to instill hope within their patients; thus enabling patients to develop healthy coping strategies. Shaping people’s beliefs and expectations to be more hopeful and optimistic is an essential component of positive psychology. In general, people who possess hope and think optimistically have a greater sense of well-being.

“Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” – Desmond Tutu

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Sadness – The Key To Happiness !

Believe it or not, Sadness – the opposite of Happiness – itself is the key to happiness. It sparks a new meaning and purpose in our life. Though it seems like the end of the road, but the truth is that it generally proves to be the beginning of another road. Therefore, even if you feel caught up in a situation when nothing strikes your mind, and you find yourself standing in the middle of nowhere, you must not lose hope. Let’s see how we can go there ….

Start Each Day With A New Hope
“Negativity is the enemy of creativity.” – David Lynch.

Begin each day with a feeling of gratitude and don’t let negative thoughts make your day begin on a sad note. Convince yourself that today is going to be a beautiful day. Creativity prospers under happy conditions and diminishes under sad ones. Negativity perpetuates itself, breeds dissatisfaction and clutters the mind.  And when the mind is already cluttered with negativity there will be no space for creativity.
Do What You Are Passionate About
“Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life’’ – Marc Antony.

People are not happy with their life because their jobs do not satisfy them. So do a job that gives a feeling of fulfilment. Improve the quality of your life. Make a list of the top things you like to do in your spare time. Don’t include necessary household duties like grocery shopping. List all your favorite things – like reading, walking in the park or painting. Having an understanding of the types of activities that you enjoy will help you incorporate them and find a job you’re passionate about.

Work on Yourself
“Strive for continuous improvement, instead of perfection.” – Kim Collins.

No one is perfect and there is always scope for improvement. Work towards your goals and dreams by introducing changes in yourself. This can and should include imparting knowledge and sharing your craft with others. A culture of continuous improvement is one in which individuals are growing, learning and contributing to the overall goal. Identify your weaknesses, strengthen these with training. Ask and answer questions. Give yourself room for experimentation and allow yourself to make mistakes. Making, recognizing and rectifying mistakes is the true training ground for continuous improvement.

Revitalize your body
“Yoga is a way to freedom. By its constant practice, we can free ourselves from fear, anguish and loneliness.” – Indra Devi
Amidst the hustle and bustle of trying to have a perfect life, we often tend to lose focus on our body. So, every morning, spend at least 10 minutes indulging in some form of exercise – simple yoga can help stretch your body and prepare your mind for the day ahead. Exercising in the morning is a great way to start your day. It gets you pumped and lets your body release “happy chemicals” – endorphins. Exposure to the morning light triggers your biological clock. Exercise floods your body systems – which have been sleeping – with energy and brings the feeling of ‘freshness’. Concentration on the exercise regimen can de-clutter the mind allowing space for new thoughts and creative ideas.

Listen to Music
“Music can change the world because it can change people.” – Bono

Music has a magical effect on our body when it comes to relieving stress. It has been proven to change our moods.  This is why shoppers use it, and why therapists also recommend it. The smooth melody and soothing harmony just washes all one’s worries away. Music not only helps you to relax, it focuses the mind and improves concentration. According to some theories, studying with music, makes you smarter! And it inspires those lacking in hope. So, plug in your earphones and tune into a soothing song, letting yourself loose. The simple activity will energize your senses and make you feel on top of the world.

Give Someone A Hug
“I have learned that there is more power in a good strong hug than in a thousand meaningful words.” – Ann Hood

Everybody likes to get a hug once in a while. It’ll make both of you feel good. Know that what you are going through is very common. The simplest human touch when one is not expecting it, or even when one is expecting it, can deliver such joy and contentment. A hug is a step up, and so many of us don’t meet our daily hug quota. Hugging builds stronger bonds with the people you see everyday. It lowers stress – releasing cortisol in the body. It will turn a bad mood upside down.  Hugging reconnects the mind with the body. When chaos builds – which it does rapidly in the workplace, behind the wheel, while on the computer – a good hug can reconnect us to that idea of conscious existence. A good hug has the power to prompt us towards better posture, deeper breathing, and a more relaxed state of being.

Talk To Someone
“I enjoy being around people. I also love talking to people – which is why I think I did so well.” – Kevin Hart

Talk to someone you trust about what you are feeling – they can help you sort through your emotions. Sharing your feelings helps, especially when your feelings are not so good. It can be really hard not to tell anyone that you’re feeling sad, worried, or upset. Then, it’s just you and these bad feelings. If you keep feelings locked inside, it will make you sick. But when you talk with someone who cares for you – like your mom or dad – you will almost always start to feel better. Now you’re not all alone with your problems or worries. It doesn’t mean your problems and worries magically disappear, but at least someone else knows what’s bothering you and can help you find solutions. Sometimes you need help. And if you do, talking about your feelings can be the first step toward getting it.

Keep Working Towards your Goal
“Setting a goal is not the main thing. It is deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with that plan.” – Tom Landry

People who sit back and wait for something to happen are usually the ones who do not achieve anything in life. Once you have it all figured out in life, start working towards it. Don’t wait for someone to do it for you. Get down to the basics. Be specific about what you want to achieve. The, draw up a plan of action, listing the steps. Read and listen to advice. Re-assess your goals and your achievement status. When you feel that you are lagging, research alternative plans. Visualize and focus on your goal. And above all, take action. Don’t just ‘be in motion’, Motion is when you’re busy doing something, but that task will never produce an outcome by itself. Action, on the other hand, is the type of behavior that will get you a result.
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